Choosing Kindness: Simple Ways to Combat Online Toxicity

Online toxicity may feel unavoidable these days, and it seems that more and more people are both the victims and the offenders. Choosing kindness can help us build better, safer online communities – one interaction at a time.

Online toxicity may feel unavoidable these days, and it seems that more and more people are both the victims and the offenders. I know I’m not immune to being either. Just a few weeks ago, while doom-scrolling Facebook and listening to a YouTube video, I saw a family member share a controversial post with a supportive caption. Of course, I just had to write a snarky reply.

It didn’t take long for me to regret it. My uncle intervened, so I softened my reply, but the damage was done. In the end, I deleted my comment and apologized directly to the family members I’d hurt. I couldn’t take back what I said, but I could at least own my mistake.

The Emotional Impact of Online Toxicity

Unfortunately, toxic posts cause more than minor annoyance – they often have serious consequences. Cyberbullying is closely linked to mental health issues, and studies show that victims are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide than their peers [1]. Even the bullies are more prone to the same behavior [1].

Social media toxicity isn’t limited to platforms like Facebook and Instagram; it also thrives in online games, chat rooms, forums, emails, and video platforms. Even with moderation efforts, it can be hard to keep every interaction safe from harassment.

Recognizing Toxic Behaviors Online

It’s no secret that a lot of the content we see online isn’t even made by real people. Bots have become a bigger part of internet traffic every year, with “bad bots” alone responsible for over 30% of all web activity in 2023 [2]. That makes it hard to tell what’s real and who to trust.

And this uncertainty messes with our interactions. Sometimes I catch myself scrolling through social media feeling guarded, defensive, or paranoid. It can feel like the internet is primed for conflict. The constant tension makes it easy to lash out and make bad decisions, even with the people we care about.

That’s where the DAD Framework – Disembodiment, Accountability, and Disinhibition – shines. Developed by a team of researchers led by Dr. Swati Pandita, it breaks down how and why people act differently on the internet [3].

Disembodiment – We struggle to empathize with the person on the other side of the screen because we can’t see their facial expressions or hear their voices.
Accountability – Since there’s no immediate consequence for what we say online, it’s easier to act out without thinking.
Disinhibition – Without the usual social cues to hold us back, we’re more likely to say things impulsively.

Looking back at my example, it’s clear that I got caught in this cycle. When I saw the post, I knew that replying would cause problems; in the moment, they just felt like another person on the internet (Disembodiment). I didn’t think much about how they’d feel because nothing was stopping me (Accountability), and since I was already in a bad headspace, I made the post without a second thought. (Disinhibition).

Avoiding Toxic Behaviors

While we may never eliminate online toxicity, we can work on managing our own toxic tendencies. Here are a few things to try before sending a message you might regret:

Remember the Human Behind the Screen – Whether it’s family or an anonymous user, everyone has their own beliefs, struggles, and dreams. Empathy encourages more meaningful messages than toxicity.
Step Away – If something upsets you, take a break. Drink a glass of water or take a walk. If you still want to respond later, reread and revise your message to make it more considerate.
Consider Your Own Feelings – As my grandmother often said, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Words can cause real harm, so reflect on how you would feel when receiving the same message.
Remember the Golden Rule – When you scroll through your feed, remember how you want to be treated. Use that feeling to help guide your decisions.

Choosing kindness can help us build better, safer online communities – one interaction at a time.

References:

This post was written by PTH Staff Writer Jimmy Dutton.

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